:( please time, move a little bit faster for me. 

This is so old. How can I be so unbelievably okay during the day, then at night everything just falls apart? I need to look into sleeping pills so that I can just pass out without thinking. God. All the memories that go through my head at night. The cravings to just be cuddled up next to you in bed, to hear your breathing, to feel your life, to blur the lines. At night it feels like I’m dying. Every. Single. Night. Unless I’m getting fucked up. I hate that. I used to sleep so well and dream beautiful stories into my head. Now if I can actually sleep, it’s from pure exhaustion. There are no more dreams. No more colors. No more. I want to be okay. At night as well as during the day. All I want is to go to sleep. And I can’t. Because I’m positively consumed by us and you. You drown my mind at night with the words you spoke to me, the kisses you covered me in, and the love you clouded my vision with. I hate it. I wish it would just stop. I wish this were just a bad dream that I’d wake up from. And that you’d be there to hold me and tell me it was just a dream. Then sing that song to me. I don’t want to wake up with puffy eyes anymore, or bags from lack of sleep. I don’t want to cry myself to sleep anymore. I don’t want to miss you so much. But I do. I miss you so unbearably much. And I can’t tell you that. I can’t bring myself to ruin what you have going for you. You’re finding your TRUE happiness. And one day, you’ll find the person that you truly can’t be without. And when that day comes, I’ll smile and be happy for you. Because that’s all I ever wanted to be for you. And even though it won’t be me receiving those kisses and embracing those hugs, I’ll be happy knowing that you’re happy. This too shall pass, but this clock is ticking so excruciatingly painfully. Three weeks feels like years. And while I can feel myself growing for the better, becoming more independent, and so much stronger than I was before, I can also feel my hope slipping away with each passing day. I can’t help but think this isn’t right. But that will stay between me and my followers. Not that anyone really even cares anyway. For now, I’ll take a nyquil and block out any more thoughts and memories trying to get in my head. My wall built itself back up quicker than ever. 

Because she is a shooting star, and me? Well I’m a falling star. And when we crossed paths, our light exploded into pure wonder. And for that short but powerful amount of time, anyone that looked at us saw us as one brilliant, lovely light. But as we each kept moving in our own direction, the light dwindled and faded until we were once again two different beings, continuing on our own individual journeys.